Well, here I sit in Vancouver International Airport at an elevation of, if I remember my father's information on this correctly, about 6 feet. I will let all you brainiacs determine whether or not that is measured at high or low tide. An alert, as Warren heads into a tiny frustration rant: I am not in First Class, as I had been led to believe that I would be. My stinkin' travel agent was able to get this 'deal' of a cheap booking. Probably saved the company all of two hundred bucks, but there you go, now I am sitting in the cattle car deep within the bowels of a 747, ripped to pieces that I am doing this for 13 hours plus hovering time over the airport. Sheesh! May, I am not impressed! As Archie Cooper would say, @#$*%$@# travel agent. I am in the Maple Leaf lounge, trying to determine just how full or drunk I want to be for the flight out. These lounges have a little bit of everything in them. Juice, milk, pop (soda for Brett), liqueurs, hard stuff, white wine, red wine, beer, draft beer (pull handle included), soup, salads, bread, crackers, cheese, meat. So all sorts of options. This Maple Leaf lounge is for people that fly a reasonable amount and is in most of the big cities. Even Edmonton has one. Free booze, free food, wireless hookups that allow me to send out this email, no beds or showers that I ahve found so far, but I am looking. And no masseuses. So it is not a full-featured place by any means. But it is nicely appointed. I should get a picture before I leave. If I do, I will subtitle it, "Hey David! Betcha can't get in here!" which will mean something to the gang at the office. My email list is starting to get larger. I just noticed that I have 55 people on it. I didn't know I knew 55 people! I was impressed. And aren't you just bummed, thinking that I honestly wrote to JUST YOU! Oh, for those of you that are catching up here, I am on my way to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, way, way way-yyyyyyyyy over there on the globe. Oh, stinkin' May again, no travel miles for this trip either. The horrible witch! I am ticked.I have now been burned out of 20,000 miles in the last year, that hurts. It's not all her fault, I know, I am just blaming her. So I am in bowel row #58. I have a hyper little boy bouncing in front of, which means that the tray that this laptop is on also bounces. I forgot how old 747's are. This plane is showing its age as I compare it with the Airbus' that I normally fly on. I get an A340 on the way home, but I will be in coach for that one also (I know, poor poor Warren having to come from Malaysia in coach, let's all sit down and have a good cry for the poor lad!). You will be glad to know that the air conditioner in the plane, however, is in top form. I am freezing. I have a window seat (Hello May!!!!) that puts my shoulder up against the frame of the plane. My left shoulder is numb from the cold. I have a pillow and a blanket lodged in there now, but it may be too late, that arm is lost to us. Let's see, outside temperature is a balmy -54C, can't imagine why my shoulder is numb. And they still have the AC chugging away. I have a cool wind caressing my hair as we speak that has created a freezing wave pattern on my scalp. I have icicles giving my hair a thick, luxurious look with a glassy sheen to it as it thickens and coats my frosty scalp. Turn it off for the love of palm trees! Man, what I will do to touch palm trees! I can't feel my toes. Silly me I took my boots off when I got on the plane, put them in the overhead because there is no extra space in coach, and now I have to decide at what point I will wake my sleeping row compatriots to go retrieve them. Heck, if I can't feel them, why worry, right? So my first stop was Vancouver, but now I am winging it to Taipei, which for those of you who can't tell the difference between a Communist Chinese and Democratic Chinese, these are the ones that look like Democracy personified. The other ones, apparently, are evil. I will see them on the way home as I have to land in Hong Kong for that portion of the trip. I sure hope they haven't read this page. But then, it's communist China, what am I worrying about, they barely have electricity, no one will have computers! Or internet! But this is Hong Kong, ex British colony, so they probably have progressed faster than mainland China, perhaps? Ahhhh, I am safe, if they were under British rule, then they do everything on the wrong side of the road anywayh, so all these words will be backwards to them, I'm still safe! Yeah, Warren has a real good handle on world politics and political-correctness still! Attaboy, Warren, why don't you try and tick of 1/6 of the world population! Throw in a Danish cartoon and I'm good to go! Oh, hey, guess what a midnight snack is here? Cup of Noodle soup. So enough for now, I have to go doctor up the webpage to faciliate getting the pictures ready, in and delivered to you, the people! Seriously, I am trying to write less. And I appreciate what I have been hearing from some of you, that you are now reading this without moving your lips at the same time. It's a good thing, really!
Maple Leaf Lounge in Vancouver
Sitting around area in the Maple Leaf Lounge in Vancouver
Seriously, would you want to fly on FAT airlines?
And for only $85, you could have this snack, it's about $2.30 CDN
I just love the custom's declaration form for Malaysia
